Reaching out.

[theotherbaldwin]

So, Michelle has been having what was termed by one docotr as a "manic-depressive body, without the psychological mania or depression". Basically, her blood sugar and thyroid activities seemed to be yo-yo-ing for years. She's been robbed of energy, hands and feet swollen, constantly sick a lot and we didn't know why.

A few weeks ago, she had an MRI done on the neck area-- it felt like her lymph node had ben swollen for weeks.

Turns out it wasn't her lymph node (a real concern since she had recovered from Non-Hodgkins' Lymphoma a few years ago)-- it was her thyroid, and she had several tumors on it.

She went in for further testing yesterday, and the specialist told her that either they miscalculated the intial sixe of the tumors, or it nearly tripled in size since the last test. If it's not removed, it'll eventually cut off her airway and she'll die.

She's been diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease. At least we have a name, we have a cause, a course of action, an explanation.

So she's going to have surgery to remove the growths and most likely her thyroid as well within the next 3 months. It's going to do deep anstethic, for 3 to four hours. This is serious surgery, and there is a real risk of complication.

Her father died in surgery.

I am doing my best to be her rock, her calm supportive center, to care for her and love her as much as I'm able to.

I'm reaching out to my friends. I'm scared. I'm scared that I might lose her, and I love her. I don't want her to die.

I wish... I grew up Protestant, though I lost my faith in a higher power years ago. I don't want to be the person that "kinda" believes in god or "sorta" has faith. I can't, within myself, find it to believe.

But I do believe in something greater than myself: my friends. OUr friends.

PLease... if any of you could find it in your hearts to keep Michelle in your thoughts, or say a prayer for her... please do.

Comments

[kitarin.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You know where to find me if you need to talk.

[specific-chris.livejournal.com]

I will keep her in my thoughts! I hope everything goes well!

[mia-d.livejournal.com]

I'll be praying for you guys. If you need to talk about ANYTHING, you know where to find me (hint: on the INTERNET!)

[turandot.livejournal.com]

Well, being her emotional support and not being scared are not the same thing. It's okay to be scared about major surgery. It's MAJOR, after all.

Being scared doesn't mean you can't remind yourself of certain things:

• that doctors make progress in the way they perform surgeries one operation at the time, and so the staff that will be performing that surgery is probably experienced enough to troubleshoot anything that comes their way.
  
• that the general anesthesia that she will likely be put under just means that they can control more factors (as in, I've gone into surgery too, and believe you me, if I hadn't gone under, the bundle of nerves I was would have exploded and my blood pressure would have skyrocketed during surgery for certain).
  
• that three to four hours of surgery sounds bad until you realize that the real life threatening surgeries are those that last more than five hours.
  
• that more often than not, surgeries where the patient does not survive are not those that have been scheduled detailedly for weeks in advance, but emergency surgeries done at the 11th hour when a hospital or emergency patient is declining very rapidly.
  

I'm hoping this helps, and letting you know the both of you will certainly be in my thoughts. Before you know it, the surgery will be over and done with, and the thyroid medication will, over time, make her feel better than she ever thought possible. I'm hoping that visualizing that helps as well.

[pantswarrior]

Of course, Shawn. ...I don't even know what else there is to say.

[rtdn.livejournal.com]

Oh man that sucks. Jesus.

[rorita.livejournal.com]

That's awful news. Best of luck to her and to you. I'll be praying for you both with every last vestige of religion left in my body.

[thefreefall.livejournal.com]

*squeezy hug* I'll be thinking of her... Wishing you both the best. I don't do the God thing either, but... I do have faith she'll be all right.

[mneko.livejournal.com]

Wow. Geez, I don't know how I missed this, but I wish both Michelle and yourself the best of luck in this difficult time. If there's anything you need, let me know and I'll do my best to supply it.

JR

[grandbuddha.livejournal.com]

There are very few people that I actually hold in prayer, and how could I refuse the man who is my brother?

Shawn, I shall hold you and Michelle in the deepest and most sacred of regards.

Now, as it always has been, bro.

[sallybanner.livejournal.com]

I hope it goes well.

[djmedieval.livejournal.com]

You should request that her condition be named something less Asian.

[jiahua.livejournal.com]

Hon, I'm sorry. I hope for the best. *hug*

[manshoon75.livejournal.com]

Holy crap man, sorry to hear that. I'll be sure to keep both you and Michelle in my prayers.

[aeval-arduina.livejournal.com]

*hugs* give me a shout Shawn, what chat program you using? i hardly get on aim at all. yahoo or msn?

[opyl.livejournal.com]

I sure will. Good luck to you both.

[ren-narf.livejournal.com]

Ah, wow... I know we don't talk much, but... yeah. Can't believe what I'm reading. I'm so sorry this happened, but I will definitely send my best wishes and hopes for the both of you.

[pretzelcoatl.livejournal.com]

You know I'll have the both of you in my thoughts. Best of luck. *hug*

[katexas.livejournal.com]

Good luck, Shawn.

michelle's surgery

[rlohengramm.livejournal.com]

My prayers are with you both! YOu know where to find me if you need to talk or a shoulder to lean on. Keller isn't all that far away! <>~

i'll keep you guys in my thoughts...

[gersto.livejournal.com]

i just saw your post i can't believe what i'm hearing! although i'm an atheist, i will keep you both in my thoughts. just hang in there guys. my dad was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and he's finished the radiation treatment, he choose not to undergo surgery again. Now we're just waiting til the next doctor visit to find out if it worked, and thats not until next month.